Bottom Locker Blag!

Yeah. I moved

2010-07-20T11:14:00.000-07:00

bottomlocker.tumblr.com

I graduated college, I figured it was time for a change. Already posting almost every day, and I AM going to keep it up. So far I've gotten material for it from my everyday life. Seems easy enough.

Winery trip

2010-04-11T18:05:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

A couple of weekends ago, a group of my friends and I went to Wagner's Winery and brewery. Its about 40 minutes away from Ithaca, and was pretty cool.

Looking back at my notes, we ha

d some pretty phenomenal tasting wines, and some not-so-great tasting wines. One of their wines that they had stored in stainless steel barrels (rather than their oak barrels) was notable, and my notes read "Taste like a toyota camry." Other wines, however, were delicious, as a particular red caught Josh's taste buds when he wrote "I want to take this wine back outside and get it pregnant."

Either way, wine and beer tasting was a pretty fun experience. Heres a group shot:

Afterwords, we went to the Pines to get Pines burgers (you'd be surprised how much wine tasting gets your appetite up). We also played pool, which is when I play pool as if I am actually in a swimming pool, and that I have to get better.

-Vanish

PS I know this post was kind of boring, but I had to write something!

My trip in California

2010-03-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

I was going to follow up on my last post before I realized that it would be the most boring post ever and unless you lived under a rock you would know that Cornell lost to Kentucky. Moving on.

For spring break I went out to California to visit my friend Steve, who is a year older than me and is currently studying at Stanford. We had the same course of study in undergrad (environmental engineering) and through some strange scheduling mishap, he took all junior level classes his senior year (and thus, how we became such good friends). So Steve, his roommate and I took a trip down the california coast line. We drove down highway 1 (often regarded as one of the great American roadtrips), seeing the entire coastline. I was planning on keeping a journal to post. Instead I tweeted the whole trip until my phone died on the second to last day.

Well, the phone didn't exactly die. It only worked if you plugged it into a wall, effectively making it the least useful cellphone ever.

Here are the tweets

Sitting in airports is a pretty lonely experience

9:37 AM Mar 19th via txt
Just got into san francisco. First opinions: love the people and the weather, hate the water4:50 PM Mar 19th via txt
Btw obligatory go cornell tweet. Watched the game on the plane, it was dope6:35 PM Mar 19th via txt
Also, california also has fat people that smell like curve. I am slightly disappointed6:42 PM Mar 19th via txt
About to leave for our road trip down highway 1. Started driving with the trunk open. Good start.1:20 PM Mar 20th via txt
Just saw the pacific ocean for the first time in my life. I now am a firm believer in the manifest destiny3:07 PM Mar 20th via txt
'alright, next stop: wherever'5:47 PM Mar 20th via txt
Just spent the night camping. Between the scary loner, crying babies and werewolf-man howling, I slept alright.11:40 AM Mar 21st via txt
Santa barbaras alright2:07 AM Mar 22nd via txt
Hostels are cool. Met people from australia, brazil, denmark, sweden, and la11:50 AM Mar 22nd via txt
#overheardinsantabarbara you guys are so good at volleyball!#iwishwedidntlosetohighschoolgirlsatvolleyball1:35 PM Mar 22nd via txt
so we lost at volleyball to highschool girls.In our defense they were on the team and the glare from their braces made it really hard to see1:39 PM Mar 22nd via txt
Off to santa cruz (aka shutter) island for a night of camping2:13 PM Mar 22nd via txt
Breaking the streak of humorous tweets, santa cruz island is the most beautiful place I've ever been9:40 PM Mar 23rd via txt
Driving through malibu. This place is insane9:40 PM Mar 23rd via txt
Met a bunch of australian people. Apparently I have to put them up when they are in nyc testing their screenplays.4:38 AM Mar 24th via txt
Just got back from Cali. My phone broke on Santa Cruz island and so you missed a bunch of tweets bout that and la :(2:04 AM Mar 25th via web
and now my cell phone only works if the battery isn't in it. yeah, that makes no sense to me also1:17 PM Mar 25th via web
Oh and I saw Nigel the judge from "So you think you can dance" at the airport. Would have tweeted it but my phone had its battery in1:39 PM Mar 25th via web

Screw BU, Kentucky Too!

2010-03-25T10:39:00.001-07:00

And tonight Cornell Big Red Basketball plays Kentucky in the sweet sixteen. We have somewhat of a home field advantage, because the game is in Syracuse. Go Big Red!

P.S. I have a post from my travels in Cali ready go to for tomorrow

Best New York Song?

2010-03-15T12:35:00.001-07:00

From Bill Simmons:

Speaking of songs, I spent the past few days in New York City and decided that Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind" was one of the five most brilliant songs ever made. It's like Jay made the decision: "It's 2009 … I've made enough money, I've cemented my legacy, I married Beyonce … really, I guess the only thing left would be to supplant Sinatra with the No. 1 New York-centric go-to song that (A) goes through someone's head every time they walk around Manhattan, and (B) gets played before and after every New York sporting event for the next 25 years, and if that's not enough, becomes a mortal lock to get played at Manhattan clubs once an hour for the rest of eternity. Tough task, but I think I can pull it off. I'm Jay-Z."

Only requirement: Bring Pizza...

2010-03-12T06:36:00.000-08:00

The easiest 10 bucks you'll ever make

2010-03-08T19:54:00.000-08:00

So a buddy of mine, Justin, found this website that has a training plan that supposedly works you towards being able to do 100 pushups in a row in six weeks. He is taking bets on whether or not we think that we can do it, having 10 dollars for and 10 dollars against.

Most of my friends (also some of the more rational and bet savvy people I know) are adamant that he CAN'T do it (and thus bet $10 against him). He (a fairly driven and inshape person) is adamant that he CAN do it. He has a contract and bet list outside of his room. We had a party last weekend and somehow he convinced a ton of people to bet on him for this challenge.

The Stakes: He has six weeks (As of last week) to train and do the pushups in front of no fewer than two people. His legs can never touch the ground and can only rest in the top position of the pushup. If he fails on one attempt, he has 24 hours to reattempt to complete the feat. If he fails, the bettors on the right side of the line get the spoils.

I am slightly torn on which way to bet. On one hand, he can currently do at least 25 pushups in a row. To do 100 in a row, it would have to be a 400% increase in pushup capacity over six weeks. This seems like a lot, but it may be analogous to increasing the amount that you can run from 1 mile to 4 miles over 6 weeks. That is very doable.

On the other hand, pushups are really hard. I workout fairly often, and I'll sometimes actually do a 100 pushup challenge at the end of the week. The first time I did it, it took me 10 minutes and 30 seconds (with stoppage). The last time I've done it, it took me 7 minutes to do them (with stoppage). As Josh says, "If Vanish can't do it, Justin can't do it. Thats my reasoning." While I appreciate the sentiment, I still concede that Justin may be in better shape than I am. That fact aside, doing pushups is again, really hard (harder than running). I think that it will take more than just three workouts a week for six weeks (18 workouts) to be able to do 100 pushups straight.

The Verdict: I don't think he can do it, even if he does stay disciplined and do all of the workouts. Its just not enough work to build up to 100 pushups.

What do you think? Do you think he can do it? Let me know!

100th post

2010-03-06T15:09:00.001-08:00

Wow. Post 100. I really don't have much to say about it except for the fact that this number equals my readership times 100. Because its been a while since I've posted, I'll go on ahead and do this:

Blogging: I clearly haven't done a whole lot in terms of blogging here. posting quick posts (microblogging) on twitter have taken up many of the one liners I usually post here. However, I have written a post for my buddy's Non-profit company, Life Changing Apparel. We'll wait to see whether or not he likes it because he presented it during his team meeting today. I've been posting a lot for catchy song of the day. I don't actually post anything interesting, just music. It is awesome though because we have a couple of legitimate bands now following us. Hopefully we can do something about that.

Next Year: I am graduating college this May. I am fortunate enough to have options for next year, but I don't want to jinx anything. I'll update when things are set in stone.

Intramural sports: My basketball team was awful this year. I'm not sure whether that is because we accidentally signed up for the competitive league or if its because we were terrible at basketball. Regardless, we went 2-3 and missed the playoffs. I do have high hopes for softball, though. Our team name is going to be "No game this week." Hopefully people just don't show up for our games.

Poker night: Cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of chips, lack of cards, and lack of players.

-Vanish

Breaking the Seal

2010-02-21T12:53:00.000-08:00

Gotta update gotta update gotta update. There, broke the seal, and now I can post again. In case you were wondering, breaking the seal doesn't actually work in the case that you normally think of it as. Was that confusing sounding? Good, I'm in mid season form.

Dude, its 2010

2010-01-06T14:49:00.000-08:00

Its 2010 and we don't have jetpacks yet. Cars can't even drive through water. Am I the only one that feels cheated?

... And We're Back

2010-01-04T10:58:00.000-08:00

I know I have sort of been blogging lately, but it is now officially 2010 (with the official start of the work week). I think I am going to work on some more structured posts. Its going to take me a couple of years to get caught up on e-mail that I've neglected over the past few days, so be gentle.

Things I am anticipating

2010-01-02T09:20:00.000-08:00

1 minute: My sister to respond to my funny text message

1 hour: Eating (i feel like eating may be too soft of a word- inhaling) breakfast/lunch (although I may be watching up in the air at the time)

1 day: The Jets may make the playoffs. Can't wait to watch them in primetime.

1 week: Honduras. Less than a week, actually. I'm a little nervous.

1 fortnight: Being a second semester senior (hopefully)

1 month: Getting ready for spring break? Wait, is that too soon? Oh yeah, I always forget that February is the WORST month of the year, and so theres nothing to look forward to.

1 year: 2011

Happy New Years!

2010-01-01T11:08:00.000-08:00

I'm don't get the whole anti-new years movement. Yeah, it may just be an ordinary night during the beginning of winter that is often a let down in terms of a party night, but I think its really important that people get this demarcation for a fresh start. Maybe its just waxing philosophic, but starting over is a powerful feeling.

Either way, I am shocked that I've lived through two full decades already. The 90s were dope. The aughts were alright. Heres to the 10s being awesome.

-Vanish

Change the way you read online

2009-12-31T10:30:00.000-08:00

With this tool : lab.arc90.com/experiments/readability

I like to plug things that I have found really useful. This is one of the coolest things I've found all year. Follow the instructions online, and read uninhibited.

Best,

Vanish

P.S. Enjoy New Years Eve!! Be safe tonight.

What I've Learned: 2009

2009-12-28T11:02:00.000-08:00

Hey. So I was going to do a "best of the decade" type post here, but I decided to do a "What I've Learned" segment covering the whole year in the Esquire model (example). Here goes nothing.

I realized that I was only 12 when the decade started. Plus I have terrible memory, so any "best of" would be terrible. Thats the real reason for this post.

This post was going to be really morbid. Like, deep and stuff. Thats the mood I was in after I read this . I think stuff like that has its place. But not on a 21 year old's blog.

I try not to put my phone on vibrate anymore. For a while I just left it on vibrate because of class and stuff, but last semester I was working all the time and nobody cared so I put it on this awesome techno ringtone. When my phone was on vibrate, I could tell it was in pocket. Now that its on ringtone mode I can't ever find it. I feel old.

Being injured doesn't get chicks. Trust me.

Yoga was the best decision I've made all year. I took yoga as a gym class with some of my friends this semester, and I can almost touch my toes now. I'm better at breathing too, if thats a skill you can boast.

Although our yoga teacher scared us. She said you can actually become less flexible than you were before the yoga if you stopped practicing it. I'm not sure if thats her way of getting us to sign up for the class again next semester, but I'm not falling for it.

People appreciate it when you remember their names. Too bad I have terrible memory. I read somewhere that you need to give someone an emotional hug when you meet them. Thats how you make friends. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

I went to a lot of concerts this year. I barely remember any of them. They were all fantastic though.

Sleep is underrated. So is exercise. And so is patience.

Traditions were a big theme for me this year. I maintain that they are really important.

Resolutions are in that gray area between getting things done and being a cop-out. Its a great way of becoming goal oriented, but you push it off until the new year.

I am really proud of the other blog that I participate in, catchysongoftheday. We're spreading around good music. Although I tried making a twitter for it, nobody follows it. It sucks

On Esquire, they always end these things really abruptly with a deep or witty quote. My favorite quote, from Inherit the Wind is "An idea is a greater monument than a cathedral." It really is my favorite quote. Its on my facebook!

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-25T13:59:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the Bottom Locker family (really its just me)!

Heres a funny SNL Holiday Clip for you!

-Vanish

The Situation

2009-12-23T21:54:00.000-08:00

Alright, obligatory "Jersey Shore" blog post (The New York Times had the same obligation to its readers). I won't bore you by talking about how hilarious the show is or about how it truly reflects on some of the ideals that our youth has these days or about how ridiculous some of the characters are (apparently Ronnie is only 5-6? what the heck?). I do want to make the case that Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is a genius.

First of all, "The Situation" might be the most fascinating character on TV that I have ever seen. This includes Turk, House MD, and the guy from Dexter when he is playing the gay guy in "Six Feet Under" (I know, its weird that its the same guy). His nickname has instantly turned into the mating call for millions of 20 something bros. The Situation is the only reason that people aren't more upset with Tiger Woods (I should really do an obligatory Tiger Woods post).

Anyway, the reason he is a genius is because he just made himself a brand. Outside of The Situation, we are going to forget about every character on the show (except for maybe Snooki). He (his abs) is going to be a guest on talk shows for a long time now. Believe me, this guy is not going away. Instant celeb - Just add tanning lotion.

Catchy Albums of the Year

2009-12-22T10:52:00.000-08:00

Check out our top 10 catchy albums of the year here (By our I mean the other two guys on the blog)

-Vanish

Traditions

2009-12-21T05:31:00.001-08:00

I was thinking long and hard about my traditions, and I realized that I don't have many. My family does the whole turkey on thanksgiving and christmas morning present unwrapping thing, but outside of that I only have: thanksgiving football game, "Black Friday" pizza hut buffet (possibly my favorite: my friends from back home go to the pizza hut buffet and see who can eat the most slices on the day after thanksgiving. Unfortunately, we've only done it two or three times, and lately its degraded into us raiding the breadsticks and not eating any of the slices. When did we become old?), and Football Sundays (not really a tradition, I just like watching football on Sundays). Its pathetic! I think I also have "micro-traditions." This is like singing little chants and pacing when the Mets are down late in the game, but I may have "micro-traditions" confused with "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder" or "panic attacks."

I've been trying to start traditions with both my friends at school and my friends back home. Its tough with my friends back home because life starts getting in the way. While at school, movie night lasted about 2 weeks, we get a smattering of people on football sunday (though its usually me and J, and J is usually passed out on the couch for 3-5 hours), Dawson's December (a couple of us have been watching Dawson's creek episodes, I may explain in another post but otherwise, please don't ask) has only lasted 4 episodes, and videogames. Video games is less of a tradition and more of an obsession with some of my friends, so I really don't have a choice but to play.

I think that traditions are a cool way to get people to stay in touch. I think we will need them as we start getting older and life starts getting in the way. Its reassuring to know that while you're in rushhour traffic to your post college job to know that "theres always ____to look forward to."

Top Clips: SNL

2009-12-16T16:18:00.000-08:00

And a new Bottomlocker tradition is born. I am going to post my five current favorite video clips of anything online. This time it'll be Saturday Night Live clips available on Hulu.

I'm not going to use the classics (On a boat, Jizz in my pants, Mother Lover) because you should already know of them (and if you don't, now you do). With no further adieu

5. Extreme Challenges: Andy Samberg and Kristin Wiig tangle in an extreme activities competition.

4. Shy Ronnie: Rihanna features as part of a fire and ice rapping duo

3. Megan's Roomate: There is more than meets the eyes with Megan Fox's roomate

2. The Mirror: Ellen Page awakes from a terrible nightmare

1. On the Ground: Andy Samberg's unique form of resisting the system meets the ground

-Vanish

Thoughts on Discipline and a 15 Minute Sleep Schedule

2009-12-11T13:33:00.001-08:00

I write this blog post from the kitchen of my college house while I slightly procrastinate on something that I have been procrastinating for a while (why start today what you won't do tomorrow?). I have been thinking about the idea of discipline for a while. This is finals week and so without a schedule, we are expected to study non-stop for end of year exams and presentations. A problem that I have had is hunkering down now that I don't have class. Because I don't have class, I find myself wasting away on the couch watching TV sometimes (a practice generally saved for football Sundays). I think that it takes a great deal of discipline to be a college student in charge of his grades. It is really hard to have a strong work ethic when you don't have a set a schedule, and really hard to control your spending when you have no idea how to build a budget (or cook).

Also, I have a really bad sleep schedule. Now that I don't have class, I find myself falling to bed a ridiculously late hours when I have meetings early the next morning. This leads me to waking up early, then hitting snooze on my alarm clock. Unfortunately, my options are a 5 minute snooze, 15 minute snooze and an hour snooze. The 5 minute snooze and hour snooze are clearly both on the wrong scale (I'll usually skip breakfast - a bad practice - and sleep in an extra half hour), so I use the 15 minute snooze. This leads to me having little 15 minute micro-naps in which I have absurd dreams.

And with that, I should go do some work

-Vanish

Whats the funniest state in the United States?

2009-12-06T11:38:00.000-08:00

Hahawaii.

The following is an abridged text message conversation I had with my friend, Josh. This might be the best text message conversation I've ever had. It spanned the course of a full day and continued through several of my classes. You may think its lame but I thought it was hilarious. These responses were pretty immediate (no more than 2 minutes between most texts).

Me: What's the funniest state in the United States? Lolorado

Josh: I thought it was roflorida

Me: Flolida. Lmaouisian

Josh: Hahawaii

Me: Arkharharsansas

Josh: Rahaha hode island

Me: Just lmaouisian-ed in class

Josh: Hahahhaaaa same here the prof is starin at me hard core

Me: Lol stop using your human hands to text, use ur dog arkanspaws

Josh: Hahaha i was using my idahooves

Me: Haha take off your mittschigans before you type

Josh: New hahahampshire i'm going to enter a sword fight and going to put on my michigauntlets

Me: Hahalaska, fine ur on. 4 pm, dealaware?

Josh: South Dealkota... just to warn you i trained in the wyomingh dynasty

Me: That was impressive... but I hope that when I destroy you at super smash bros you don't take it to heartizona

Josh: Just got out of classifornia

Me: Just saw Mattachusetts (our friend matt)... he says hidaho

Josh: Delawell playedsylvania

Me: Impressissipi yourself amigohio

Josh: Thats a bit of a stretchina (ed. note: I bolded china because this one was a stretch and I didn't get it until he explained it to me later)

Me: I don't know how feeladelphia about stretchina

Josh: Hahahaha I'm feeladelphiaing transitionigeria (You can see here that Josh is just losing it... FYI we were both running on about 2 hours of sleep this whole day)

Me: I don't get it what dotroit you meanssylvania

Josh: This is getting worsechester and worst virginia

Me: I like it, I haev to use my br(m)aine (This is where I started losing it) to come up with new wordschester sauces (really losing it). Its a talent, this is something you can't learnmont.

Josh: Haha I can't even top thatennessee

Me: Shut your mouth dakota. This is too muchigan

Me: Dude I can nontreal stop! There are tooronto many of them!

Me: I'm laughing too much my classmates are starting to ask quebicstions (I really started losing it)

Josh: Hahaha you have yo edmontone it down

Me: What new haven I gotten myself intoronto I think i'm englansane. Francy that.

Me: We have it down so pattistan what isreal the goaland of doing it? I don't feel the rushia anymore (viet)man.

Josh: Hahahahah your ridiculou.s.a. (Then Josh made a comment about a girl we know)

Me: I agree, she is georgiaous. Why did you.s.s.r. make that commentreal?

Josh: Lol I have no eye deer

Me: Okay we're donemark.

Josh: I'm so tired...

Me: Don't go to sleep! Who amsterdam I going to text? Okay that was the last one, hon(w)est. (virginia)

Then I just kept sending him ridiculous ones for the rest of the day while he responded to zero of them. Anyway I know that its lame but... I thought it was hilarious. Anyway heres to the rest of the day being devoted to laying on the couch watching football.

Cheers,

Vanish

I went to the Brand New concert tonight

2009-11-28T22:21:00.001-08:00

I can honestly say that this will probably be the last brand new concert I will ever go to :(

I am getting too old for these concerts (the mean age was 17). Unless they come out with a new album within the next two years, I will say goodbye to brand new concerts. They were pretty phenomenal tonight in their return to Long Island. They ended their set with seventy times 7, which is a great song.

"So, is that what you call a getaway?

Well tell me what you got away with.
Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish.
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids."

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallatica

2009-11-25T13:53:00.000-08:00

I got home for Thanksgiving Break last night. The first thing I was planning on doing was whipping out my notebook and writing some sort of reflective Thanksgiving blog post.

I thought about that for approximately 4.8 seconds and instead watched the Battlestar Gallactica miniseries that Russ gave me. I can no longer make fun of him for being able to identify the sounds that human ships make as they fire at Cylon cruisers. It was so good, I'm thinking about watching the rest of the first season. This has cracked my top five list of "Things with no real consequence that I never expected to happen."

1. Finally getting tired of the "Oceans 11" trilogy

2. Winning an intramural championship

3. Survivor still being on the air while I'm a senior in college

4. Not being interested in what the hell is going on on that "Lost" island

5. Enjoying Battlestar Gallactica

It narrowly edged out "6. Not liking the Transporter 2." This list is in parallel with "Things with real consequence that I never expected to happen." It includes having a black president and the internet bubble bursting.

-Vanish

Things I think about

2009-11-20T11:11:00.000-08:00

The feeling after taking a huge test is underrated. The feeling after taking two huge tests is effing immaculate. I know I bombed both of them, but guess what?

Its the freaking weekend! Which, by the way, is underrated. I know people love the weekends, but seriously - two FULL days completely to yourself? I don't know why it always feels so underwhelming.

College Basketball is also underrated (at Cornell). I mean c'mon guys, we made the National Tournament two years in a row! We're actually pretty decent at this. I'm expecting a packed house tonight.

Some might argue that lacrosse is underrated on this campus, especially because we were national runner ups. I don't know about how impressive that is, because lacrosse pretty much sucks. The concept of it is cool (combine hockey, football and basketball), but I don't think anybody knows enough about the game to make it interesting.

Any underrated suggested?

-Vanish

I have now decided that I am a Clippers fan.

2009-11-19T12:55:00.000-08:00

Because of this article

That article has also sparked my blogging fires. Too bad I can't do anything about it right now because I should be studying for midterms that I have...

a) Tonight
b) Tomorrow Morning
c) All of the above

Best,
Vanish

I wrote this poem for my creative writing class

2009-11-17T13:15:00.000-08:00

Viscous

It must feel like honey

Sticking to the edges of the bottle

Keep on dripping

I like wasting time

Don’t shift your glass eyes

You might miss the next big buzz

Between the birds tweeting

The dance ends where it starts

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So I wrote this poem for my creative writing class. Unfortunately, nobody understood what it meant. I think what I am trying to get at (mostly) is a critique of our modern media, news outlets and social networking sites. I thought of it while watching the search for that "balloon boy" a few weeks ago on CNN. The poem is mostly economical, there are harsh sounds in it and themes (its so deep!). Its weaknesses are that there isn't actually a story being told and there are a few cliches in there. I can defend the cliches by saying that they have deeper meanings than just being cliches. Also, the title (Viscous) is pretty important too - it represents a fluid's ability to move against itself.

Also, I'd like to plug a website I am a part of. Catchy Song of the Day I post songs on Wednesdays, which is tomorrow. I don't have a song yet. oh no!

-Vanish

List Serve? Whats a list serve?

2009-11-12T13:29:00.000-08:00

Note to self: Always Always Always make sure that you are sending e-mails to the right list serve. For example: Never send an e-mail meant for your fraternity to your classmates.

Wanted: Movie Friend

2009-05-12T16:46:00.001-07:00

Wanted: Somebody who would be willing to watch each of these movies with me in the upcoming school year. I'm thinking about getting a netflix account...

http://www.esquire.com/features/movies/best-movies-ever-0609

And thats how you let the beat build

2009-05-09T09:15:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to post this link

Things I've learned: Slope day edition

2009-05-03T20:00:00.001-07:00

This weekend I went back to Cornell in Ithaca for the weekend to go to slope day, which is a drunken celebration on the last day of classes. The university essentially promotes this debauchary and throw us a concert to pass out during. Here are some things that I've learned while visiting my friends and the school

Drinking beer in the morning is disgusting. Even if it is the always smooth, refreshing taste of classy beers like Keystone Light or Pabst Blue Ribbon
But burgers for breakfast are amazing. You should seriously try it. I'm worried that the breakfast market will soon be suffering.
Learn to dance. It will make events approximately 2/3rds more fun. Social events will eventually lead to music. Music will eventually lead to dancing. I ended up going to 4 impromptu dance parties, and knowing how to dance (outside of my two patented moves) would have been useful.
Pretty girls aren't going to talk to themselves. So you should. But if they don't laugh at your jokes, run far far away. Oh, and if they are talking to themselves, run far far away.
Don't knock it till you rock it. I went to a heavy metal concert with Andrew, knowing that I would hate it. I knew that it would be a really shady venue, that I would would be the only person wearing a color other than black and that I would emerge from this whole thing with a loose tooth and a prison shank sticking out of my side. I ended up loving it. Even though it wasn't my type of music, being at this live close quartered show with people that pour their hearts into the music was amazing. The music wasn't too loud but it still shook me, and I found myself joining in with the crowd that spazzed to the beat. I might end up going to more shows. Open yourself up to new experiences, you never know what you'll find.

Stay fly guys,

Vanish

A little pea in a huge pod

2009-04-25T15:33:00.001-07:00

Sorry about that title. I couldn't think of anything clever or witty (how unlike me). Despite not having anything good to write about, I will march on and blog because I promised to myself that I wouldn't let it die this time.

Today at CVS I saw this guy from the gym. This was discerning enough to make it the topic of the post because he seemd so... normal. I mean, in the gym he is this jacked guy that is putting up dumbells the size of my torso. Today he was an average sized guy who actually looked slightly pudgy working as a manager at CVS. There was no recognition, he didn't seem very popular, nor were any of his talents in the weight room apparent. It was similar to a situation where you have a B-list celebrity (maybe the second string wide receiver of a second tier city or a junior Senator from Oklahoma) in public who isn't recognizable for any of their skills. I mean, they are seemingly important, influential people, but they are treated like any ordinary chump. I don't know why this pertubes me. It might be because we live in an instant gratification society where if you haven't accomplished anything incredible by the time you are 30 it will feel like the window of opportunity is closed. Obviously this isn't true, and the first example that comes to mind is anybody that attended college with the intention of actually graduating. But still, sometimes it feels that way.

Just on my mind,

Vanish

You shall not pass

2009-04-02T16:39:00.000-07:00

For the life of me, I do not understand why some people on the highway are such jerks. Furthermore, these drivers have some sort of affinity to rush hour (7-9 AM, 4-6 PM) that enhances their jerk-i-ness.

For example, there are three lanes on a highway. But, due to what I can only suspect was terrible engineering, the third lane ends during a particularly crowded stretch of highway. The obvious thing to do would be for everybody to line up in the two lanes that will remain and wait their turn. Unfortunately, some people decide that they are above common sense and civil respect, and fly through the rightmost ending lane and cut the line at the last second as their lane veers into a local town. Thus, these people are jerks.

As a young man and upstanding citizen, I had decided to take the law into my own hands and deal with these jerks myself. I decided to drive in the lane next to the vanishing lane and drive so close to the driver in front of me so that no jerk driver would be able to cut in. The reason I mentioned that I am a young man is because I have reflexes like a cat and I can respond to sudden changes of speed by the car in front of me.

I kept this up for a while. I was pretty successful at balancing three things: stopping people from cutting in the line directly in front of me, almost getting hit by cars because they really wanted to cut in front of me, and honking back at them as they honked to say hi as they drived by.

Eventually I cut this out. First of all, it is way to hard to concentrate on listening to 101.9 the center for classic rock, alternative rock, and hits while I am single handedly fighting injustice on the highway. Second of all, these drivers would get in eventually, whether in front of me, or behind me.

I think that the main reason I stopped is because one time I stopped someone from cutting in and they eventually got behind me. I looked to see who it was. Once it was a frantic father. The next time it was a 17 year old. Another time it was an old woman. Knowing who these people were was too much for me. I think this is why superheroes wear masks.

There is a line on Menshealth.com that reads: "Things to stick up for: the sanctity of the line. Whether someone cuts in with their hoof or car, reject them, hard. The mob will back you up." I have found this to be untrue, the mob will rarely, if ever, back you up.

The Endorsement: Issue 1

2009-03-29T19:16:00.001-07:00

I have decided to commission Bottom Locker to start semi-weekly endorsements. I have sort of stole the idea from "Esquire" magazine's "Daily Endorsement" blog (its a good idea!), so in addition to my somewhat- weekly posts you will get a somewhat-weekly endorsement, and all it costs is a few minutes of your time (and some pity). So, with no further (Freddy) ado, Bottom Locker endorses...

1. Citi Field

I am not going to rant about the name in this post and about how its as much my field as it is the mets' (Bailout Stadium, anybody?). Instead, I am just going to post an awesome picture. You need to see it for yourself.

-Vanish

Two Sunday Thoughts

2009-03-22T10:27:00.000-07:00

Barack Obama misspoke (or might have just been a dick) and said that his pathetic bowling night was like "the special olympics." I would just like to say here that most people competing at bowling in the special olympics are probably much much better at bowling than I am. Anybody that bowls more than once every 5 years is probably better than I am.
I don't remember who told me this, but its totally true. The face you make doing leg curls in the gym is the same face you make while having sex. So creepy yoga instructor dude, keep the lights off while you're having sex. Or just don't have sex. Trust me.

-V$$

A picture is worth one post

2009-03-18T18:29:00.000-07:00

February 6th, 2009 10:15 AM: I buy my very first digital camera. I expect to take a ton of pictures.

February 6th, 2009 10:20 AM: I am already on

the highway on the way home when I learn that my camera only has enough internal memory to hold 9 pictures at "low quality." We're off to a good start

February 13th, 2009 7:12 PM: After a full week of trying to use the camera, I realize that it has been on "video capturing" mode all this time and instead of taking pictures, I have been taking short 5 second videos of my friends and family smiling like assholes as they wonder why there is no flash.

February 16th, 2009 11:05 PM: I take the first picture of me with my shirt off. This is honestly a full 10 days later than I expected to be first taking this photograph.

March 7th, 2009 5:00 PM: On St. Patricks day (at least, the one in Hoboken) , I try to meet cute girls by having them take pictures of me and my friends. I met zero girls and have about 50 hideous pictures of me and my friends in the same exact pose.

March 8th, 2009 3:30 PM: I try to take an artsy shot of the Long Island Sound's bay in Queens in a moving car on the Cross Island Parkway. I end up taking a picture of this minivan.

March 16th, 2009 6:00 PM: I post my first facebook album with this camera. Approximately a third of the pictures are of Tom's beard. Fantastic.

Keep visiting for more stuff! I have some exciting news that I will save for the next post...

-Vanish

How not to be an intern

2009-03-15T17:39:00.000-07:00

Its okay for your boss to call your work "boring bullshit," to you, but not okay for you to call your work "boring bullshit," to your boss.

Try not to tell the president of your firm he's "welcome for being the only diversity in the office."

These tips might come in handy!

-Vanish

This is where the mirror breaks

2009-03-14T15:12:00.000-07:00

This is the first thing I have ever done out of pure, 100% vanity (which I just noticed shares four letters with my name). I have bought Crest teeth whitening strips. My teeth are just fine, I just want them to be... whiter. Maybe it will make our clients (or girls at the bar) like me better, and that would be cool. Or maybe it will just make my teeth whiter, which would be cool too. I will try and let you know how the whole tooth whitning thing goes. Let me know if you've had any experiences with them.

-Vanish

I'm glad I'm not catholic

2009-03-07T11:29:00.000-08:00

For lent this year, the pope has a special request for the people. Instead of giving up smoking, meat or breathing (the easy stuff), he has asked catholics to give up twitter, social networking sites and text messaging. This request would have held more weight if Pope Benedict the 16th hadn't used YouTube to warn against the obsessive use of electronic communication. I can't wait to see what he says about it on his myspace page.

Eat your shorts

2009-03-02T06:02:00.000-08:00

Food for thought: The least helpful clothing care instructions are the ironing suggestions on underwear.

Much Freddy Adu about nothing

2009-02-22T06:55:00.000-08:00

I was going to write about how much soccer sucks (Thus the title) but I couldn't think of a way to make it funny (much like my other posts).

Sorry about the lack of posts lately, I have been busy juggling a 45 hour work week, studying for graduate school exams, working out regularly, watching my favorite tv shows and having a shell of a social life.

But I did get a camera, so hopefully I will start posting obnoxious random photo posts (I have nothing against good random photo posts, its just that I could not pull it off without seeming extremely obnoxious).

Love,

Vanish

And this is how I know I'm alive

2009-02-14T14:38:00.000-08:00

On my commute to work, there is a stretch of highway where there is no traffic. Hutchinson Parkway, after the Cross County Expressway exit. This is where I really get to open up my Nissan Sentra. From a standstill, I take it up to 85 miles per hour on the hilly, winding, thrill inducing two lane road. The 1.6 liters of engine displacement forces the car to heave forward as the vibrations from my broken muffler causes soccer moms, with whom I share the asphalt, thighs to quiver. I throw the car through the corners, daring it to flip or run into the median or slide into a deer on the side the road. There is about 3 and a half miles before I hit traffic. My car flies through the bends and bumps for about two minutes before I have to throw down the hammer on the brake pedal, much to the chagrin of my ears as the car squeals to a stop.

Every morning, for two minutes, I can tell that I'm awake.

Every dog has his day

2009-02-12T13:37:00.000-08:00

I want to take this opportunity to congratulate Stump, the 10 year old Sussex spaniel for winning the Westminster Dog Show on Tuesday in New York.

He had to fight adversity to get here. Stump actually left the show ring in 2004 and nearly died from a mysterious medical ailment, but vets at Texas A&M saved him. After the Westminster, Stump said "I must not have been done with my work on this planet... woof."

Stump, who would be 70 in human years, enjoys sleeping, eating, and smelling his own butt.

A series of questions that I would ask anybody that I thought I might be in love with

2009-02-08T11:24:00.001-08:00

Here is an excerpt:

Question 4. You are reading a book in the loo, on the toilet. It isn't a classic, or a particularly popular book, but you enjoy reading it. You are done pooping and really have to get going, except there is no toilet paper left. You have the option of tearing out the next page of the book, which you haven't yet read, and using it as toilet paper. You are not allowed to read the next page before you use it, nor are you ever allowed to read it in the future if you take this option. If you want to read the next page, you have to go about for the rest of the day without ever having used toilet paper. Nobody will know, but you will be mildly uncomfortable and very paranoid for the rest of the day. Do you wipe?

Question 10. Scientists and behavioral psychologists have come up with a way to make a monkey butler. You have the option of getting a monkey that will do everything that you never want to do. It will clean, buy groceries, drive you around and throw poo at people you don't like amongst other things. The monkey never dies, so you will never have to lift a finger again. Unfortunately, a side effect of having the monkey is that you will forever begin conversations with very uncomfortable and nonsensical questions. "How were your bowel movements today, Boss?" "This is our first date, do you mind if I bite your ear off?" Do you take the monkey?

Question 23. An ailment has been inflicted across America, and you have to choose one of the following options. Option 1: You sing "Come on Eileen" in its entirety everytime you orgasm. Option 2: You orgasm every time you hear the word "Waffles." Which ailment do you choose?

I am taking answers now, in the comments and at bottom.danger.locker@gmail.com

Hearts,

Vanish

Citigroup was rooting for the Jets this weekend

2009-02-02T16:25:00.000-08:00

That title was so witty that I would have felt bad about not using it. (If you don't get it, read up on current events dummy). It is also funny because (spoiler alert) I am a Jets fan and my life is shambles because of it.

Today I went to Albany on a "business trip." Actually, if I were a super hero, they would call me "Intern! Ruler of the free world and glorified delivery man." After driving to Albany in the super masculine baby blue tiny coupe (I didn't get in at first because I was waiting for them to let the clowns out) that was the only car left at the rental place, I dropped into an awesome book store for a second.

I saw the book store from across the street and thought that it would be a waste if I didn't explore briefly. Before I even walked in, the familiar smell of aging paper backs hit me. Once I stepped in, I didnt smell paper back, but it was the smell of "crazy kind old man."

Lo and behold there was a crazy kind old man there to give me a sweet deal on a second edition Updike (jawesome) and some other books. After I let him keep the change (5 bucks) he was really grateful and gave me his crazy kind old man note pad. I am afraid to use the notepad because it looks like it was from 1992 and by "he gave it to me" I mean that "I may have accidentally stole it."

Cheers,
Vanish

PS I will try to post pictures of the stuff I got.

Taking stock of my life

2009-01-27T16:38:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I get really really sad. Like when I'm driving to work and I can't find myself a good talk radio show show or when I'm in the shower and the shower mirror fogs up before I can get a good chance to look at myself.

Then I realize: Its okay Vanish, Zach Braff could have NOT starred in the number one television sitcom of all time. And then I realize that life goes by too fast to be upset. I decided recount a few of the things I am thankful for. In no particular order

Zach Braff: Zach, thank you for compiling music of the heavens, the voices of the angels. The "Garden State" sound track got me through high school.

Shark Week: What is it like to live in SHARK infested waters? Year in and year out, Shark Week reminds me what its like to live. And what its like to die.

Coach Mendes: Coach Mendes was the coach of the Stuyvesant High School boys track and field team. Thank you for not holding try outs and taking a chance on me. Before you, I was the proud owner of what can only be gently described as "man boobs" (I was a fat kid). Now I am skinny and lacking the hand eye coordination that most men gain during high school by playing REAL sports. Thanks coach.

These are just a few of the things that I am eternally grateful for. I know its a short list (everything in my life is so awesome i have a hard time not taking it for granted). I suggest you guys think of some things you are thankful for too. It keeps you from feeling too sad (and if that doesn't work, you can usually wipe the fog off the mirror)

As sincere as always,

Vanish

PS. Bottom.danger.locker@gmail.com is still open for suggestions.

Gym Notes

2009-01-22T16:06:00.000-08:00

As most of you know, I have been logging a lot of hours in the gym lately. Somewhere between being built like a house and having the body of an Adonis, I have thought about the whole scenario of the gym a lot.

Gym note 1: I have noticed that the younger you get and the older you get, the less obliged you are to wear clothes in the locker room. I'm not sure why it is, but if that 95 year old man starts drying himself off naked underneath the hand dryer again I am going to snap.

Gym note 2: Why do people weigh themselves in the nude? "Shorts add an extra 2 ounces to my weight, so I won't even bother trying to hide the fact that my hands were all over my balls and then all over this scale"

Gym note 3: I don't have any gym buddies. I don't particularly want any. I enjoy hurting myself and moving metal bars around alone as much as the next guy, but sometimes its nice to have a spot. I am going to try and make friends. I'll report on this attempt in the next post.

Grover, out.

Finally a Weekend Trip

2009-01-20T15:46:00.001-08:00

If I were to go abroad to some exotic country, I would go to African countries with awesome names, like Ghana and Sudan. I would do this so that I could say, "Whatcha Ghana do?" and "There I was, when Sudanly..." These are awesome. Kenya think of anymore? (see what I did there?)

I went up to Cornell this weekend, and met a lot of the new rushees/pledges. There were so many. Last I heard, we got 28 (JEESUS) out of 30 (and might get all 30). That is an absurd amount, considering the past two years we got 15 and 15 with me being 1/3 of the diversity. The guysI met seemed like good kids, so to any bros that read this: Great job. Too bad there is NO WAY I am going to learn all of those names next semester...

Regardless, I am excited for them. They are about to embark on a special journey, with cheap beer, cute girls, fast women, manhood and questionable encounters (with each other). I wish them luck.

Vanish

I just bought a book by Chuck Klosterman

2009-01-18T21:09:00.000-08:00

"there seems to be an inordinate number of movies about mankind going to war with machines (Terminator, AI). That plot device has always struck me as something of a cheap shot; as far as I can tell, machines have been nothing but civil to us."

is this how you pounce on life?

2009-01-13T19:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, on my drive to work, I heard on the radio, "Pounce on life! Seize the day!" during a Viagra commercial ( I listen to old man sports talk radio in the morning). I'm worried that I am not carpe diem-ing. Between the riveting life as the metaphorical bottomlocker (chai-wallah for you slumdog fans) at an engineering consulting firm and my penchant for watching several episodes of the west wing when I eventually get home, I'm not sure I'm getting out enough.

Lately I've had an awful virus on my computer. I would run my scan and it would pick a few files out and delete them and that was cool. Finally I downloaded this new program (malwarebytes... i highly recommend it) and my heart leaped as it found 25 files in the first 25 seconds. I was very excited everytime it had a new hit and stayed up with the program for most of the night. I am definitely not carpe diem-ing.

Lovingly penned,

Vanish

P.S. Feel free to send feedback through the comments section or my e-mail address, bottom.danger.locker@gmail.com

I start working tomorrow

2009-01-11T20:42:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow morning I have to be in the office by 8 AM which involves me waking up at 6 AM. And because it is the first day of work, I need to be in tip top shape, ready to perform. Thats why I'm blogging at 11:45 PM the night before with no intentions of going to sleep before 3. Thats what I did before my 9 AM thermodynamics final, and I always say that if it aint broke, don't fix it.

For those of you who don't know, I am taking the semester off from college to work at an environmental engineering firm. Everyone goes, cool! where? I always answer the same sarcastic remark, "Exotic Westchester, NY." It is at this point of the party that girls roll their eyes and go talk to the guy moving to Mozambique for 5 months.

Exotic Westchester, NY. Because I wanted to see what the commute would be like I drove to the office last week. And thats when I hit rush hour traffic on the Cross Bronx Expressway. If you guys want to know where dreams go to die, it is the Cross Bronx Expressway at 7 AM in the morning. Seriously, according to wikipedia, it may single handidly be responsible for the decay of one of the historically embattled communities in the South Bronx.

But yeah, I am giving up 6 of the best months of a 20 year old male's life to be a full time intern. Luckily, this is going to be the awesome semester of Brendan and Vanish. His girlfriend is going abroad for the semester and because I repel most women, we are going to get along fine this semester. I only mention this because he hates to be mentioned in my blog. And there you go.

Hearts and Kisses,

Vanish

Bottom Locker goes green

2009-01-08T12:13:00.000-08:00

Oh 'ello. First things first, I would like to publicly thank David for two things: 1) finding my iPod and sending it to me and 2) teaching me how to live life. May my praise for him ring through the mountains and may I some day pass this wisdom down to unsuspecting college kids.

Now on to the post.

Sometimes, I wonder why the environment can't handle everything we throw at it. Then I realize that the environment isn't nearly as awesome as me, Zach Braff, or shark week. It needs awesome people like me to save it. That is why Bottom Locker is officially going "Green," and taking the stance of sustainability and environmentally safe practices. Now you know where I stand.

I know you're thinking that I just jumped on this "green" bandwagon so that the environmentalist chicks would throw their numbers and bras at me. But you are wrong because I have been green since day one (and I have not gotten a single number or bra because of it). Being green is the reason I managed to get into my first set of fisticuffs (I looked it up on wikipedia and it redirected to bare-knuckle boxing).

Thats right, when I was in the third grade Russ (I don't remember his full name) threw the remains of his juice box onto the sidewalk after school one day. Now, I'm not sure exactly what happened but I know it involved me asking or telling him to pick it up and throw it away, and then involved him throwing me up against the fence at school.

If he tells you to throw out your trash, you throw out your trash!

So I will address a few things here. I know I mentioned that I am not the most enormous person (I make up for it with heart) that probably shouldn't get into fights for the fun of it over a capri sun. You should know, though, that I was really fat (I preferred "husky"). My friends and I used to play a game in the 3rd grade, it was called "Get the person down to the ground." The goal (go figure) was for everyone else in the group to get the person down to the ground. My times in this game were the best in the group, until Eric Chow showed up. Eric's mother must have been feeding him anvils with his dumpling soup (that is certainly a little racist, Vanish). But I digress.

I was really confident about telling Russ to pick up his trash because I was so good at the bring people down game. Unfortunately, I had not caught wind of the rumours spreading that Russ was a bad ass mother-shutyomouth and that his father was some sort of war general and that Russ was also a lunatic.

Eventually he let go of me, I'm not sure why. And that is when (in probably one of my less smart moments as a human being) I let loose, with all of my passion and fury and might, my longest most winding haymaker of a punch right into Russ's gut. This part happened really quick. I remember hitting what felt like ab (on a 7 year old!) and then remember getting hit in the face, most likely by Russ's fists (but you can't rule anything out). This part gets a little fuzzy but I think a teacher or a security guard came in and broke it up.

Russ's parents moved again, because his father had to change jobs. I became known as the most awesome kid at school (not really, but everybody associated me with getting rid of Russ, so the guys that were afraid of him worshiped me).

Russ: I hope you learned your lesson, tough guy. Pick up your trash.

Ladies: Vanish "Danger" Grover, throwing his body on the line for this majestic green Mother Earth since the early '90s. (If this gets you hot and bothered, feel free to E-mail me any of your numbers/body shots/ myspace pages at bottom.danger.locker@gmail.com)

Always yours,
Vanish

P.S. I hope it wasn't too long

P.P.S. Loving the comments guys! Thats 5 on the last post I am really excited! Lets see if we can beat it with more comments on this post.

Bridgestone: The Official Tire of the NFL

2009-01-06T10:52:00.001-08:00

Seriously? I was watching a National Football League Post Season Wild Card Weekend Playoff Game (because I am such a masculine wing eating beer drinking pick up truck driving MAN) and I saw that Bridgestone was the official tire of the NFL.
Is that supposed to impress me or something? Other than that agility drill where you step into tires (This video is great because of its religious implications), how often does the NFL use tires?
Am I supposed to personally want the tires of the over entitled wide receiver that shows up late to practice? Some marketing ploys just don't make sense to me.

Forever yours,
Vanish

P.S. This was the first of many to come posts that are really short because I had something on my mind. It won't detract from the longer posts but I just could not stay away from the blog that long. I think I'm addicted to the internet.

P.P.S. Wow. Year high 4 comments (from only 2 people) on that last post. I want to post a lot now that I know at least 3 people read. Keep it coming!! look for a new post in the next few days!! Tell your friends!!! you can comment anonymously!!! don't spam me!!!! Exclamation point!!!!

Lets talk about resolutions

2009-01-04T18:46:00.000-08:00

Salutations, readers. (I have yet to pick a suitable salutation, so for now I will stick with this vanilla one and hopefully one of you readers suggest something that I can actually use.)

In what can only be defined as a metaphorical flash flood of self doubt and subsequently self pity, I have decided to think of some resolutions. In the aftermath of the flash flood of misery (before I had written the resolutions) I realized that I am already fairly awesome and that I should just build on the pillars of awesomeness I have rather than try and make myself a well rounded individual (who would be so foolish?)

In no particular order, I'll list the resolution and then ask a question from your (the reader) perspective. Then I will immediately squash the silly question. If you have any questions, fire away. Remember, there are no stupid questions, only stupid people (that read this blog).

Gain 15 pounds
Reader:But wait, Vanish! What about your silky smooth body that has all the ladies asking questions? Won't the lean muscle that you worked so hard (20 years of not working out) to get be in jeopardy?
Vanish: There is no easy way to say this, but yes. You will no longer know this 5'9'' 140lb behemoth. I chose this resolution because I had started getting into the gym lately and getting a little bit of a muscle pump. While hanging out with Marina, Sasha and Felix, Marina and Sasha (and yes, eventually Felix) made the foolish mistake of touching my arms. Then they were unable to stop touching my arms. Later in the week someone told me I looked jacked. At least three of these four people were joking. Regardless, I could not get enough of it. It was like a hunger that you can't feed. I need to have people constantly feeling my body.

Buy a new car
Reader: But wait, Vanish! Does the Blue Stallion (read: 1998 nissan sentra. Debatably blue. might be purple) not treat you well?? Haven't you had some of the best memories of your life in that car?
Vanish: I did have some of the best memories of my life in that car. And while I am still holding out for it to secretly be a transformer in disguise, I am losing hope (and when the rest of the world loses hope, it will spring into action, saving us all). Plus I sort of need a new car.
P.S. I named my car Sebastian. But I did not want to repeatedly say "did you have fun inside of Sebastian" repeatedly during the post. There is something wrong with that.

I think Sebastion the transformer is the one on the right.

Watch all of the Seinfeld episodes
This has just always been a general goal of mine. This year I will make it happen. Out of all of my resolutions, this is most likely to happen.

Become really good at repetitive motion/ one motion/aim sports: Bowling, free throw shooting, darts, pitching, etc ...
Reader: But Vanish! don't you already have a money jump shot (or is that just from a blog you read?) and weren't you the softball pitcher for your summer team and don't you always run the beer pong table at parties?
Vanish: Yes. I already have a silky smooth jump shot. I don't care how you may say that I totally stole that line from a blog I read in my spare time, its totally true and I've always said it. I am also fairly good at free kicks (soccer) and beer pong (actually I am great at beer pong. Its all in the knees). I would just like to get better at all of these aiming sports, simply because you don't have to be particularly athletic to aim and shoot something. Some may say that this would put me well on the road to being that creepy old guy at the park that stands in the corner and drains three pointers because he is too old and broken to do anything else. To that I would say, sweet.

Learn a second language
Reader: But Vanish! It took you 20 years to get the hang of the english language! I'm not even sure you know whether or not to capitalize the E in english!
Vanish: You're right, but even with my broken E(?)nglish I captivate hundreds (7) of people daily(Results from the latest gallup poll state that at least a third of the 7 people I talk to daily are somewhat to mostly captivated by my use of the english language). However, I would like to double the amount of people that I captivate by learning a new language (or just confuse the 7 people I already talk to)
This would probably be second most likely to occur, only because I took Hindi 101 in the fall semester so I've already begun my journey.

Become really sweet at one thing
But I won't say what it is! Its a surprise! Maybe I'll let on... Or drop a letter of the thing I am working on once a month. I'll probably say it soon, so keep reading this blog...

yours truley,
Vanish

Happy New Years kiddos

2009-01-02T10:56:00.000-08:00

So the previous post was the description of a fella who had too much to drink one night, suffering a killer hang over. Totally what I expected myself to feel like New Years Day when I would fall asleep at some god forsaken hour (4? 5? 6?) and wake up at some hour of the evening by when the sun would have already set.

Obviously this didn't happen. I went to some random girl's (hereby known as SRG) house party with Johnny, which consisted of her four friends smoking weed out of that little cardboard roll that wrapping paper is wrapped around ( the entirety of my sword-fighting experience comes from me battling my cousins with these the day after christmas) while Johnny and I played mario strikers on the wii (this game is pure gold, get it if you have the chance).

I'm a fighter, not a smoker

To make a long story short, after a few more people we hang out with showed up it basically became a party where it was us hanging out and SRG's friends hanging out completely separately. Our party consisted of us playing the Wii while their party consisted of them smoking pot and listening to the Jonas Brothers singing with out a synthesizer. A little while after these simultaneous parties were going, SRG's next door neighbor came in to check up on them (and gasp!) discovered their marijuana. She barged into the room that we were (now the six of us) playing video games and kicked us out. We accidentally stole their beer (we thought it was ours but in the car ride I remembered that SRG paid for about half of it...) and went to Brendans and celebrated the new years like older citizens (by talking and drinking).

New Years night was Felix's surprise birthday party (his birthday is on the first isn't that crazy) at his parents restaurant. There were good people, good drinks and good food. A solid way to ring in the new year.

Love,
Vanish

PS. I have been playing with the idea of starting a blog with Zach. We need ideas for a name.

an awesome excerpt from Kingsley Amis's "Lucky Jim"

2008-12-21T21:43:00.001-08:00

This, for example, is how the eponymous hero of Amis’s novel awakens the morning after: “not for him the slow, gracious wandering from the halls of sleep, but a summary, forcible ejection. He lay sprawled, too wicked to move, spewed up like a broken spider-crab on the tarry shingle of the morning. The light did him harm, but not as much as looking at things did; he resolved, having done it once, never to move his eyeballs again. A dusty thudding in his head made the scene before him beat like a pulse. His mouth had been used as a latrine by some small creature of the night, and then as its mausoleum.”

I did not write this

2008-11-16T09:28:00.001-08:00

An ode to A-minor to F chord sequence

A-minor -- snarling, strutting A-minor, all piss and vinegar, looking for an excuse, biting off more than it can chew, falling now, the walls of the black pit rising up (that would be the F), the jagged-rock hand of release almost welcome, no way out but one, crawling, knuckles bleeding, sky growing bigger, deliverance at hand, back on terra firma, shaking it off, bringing it on, falling again. It's why you stay out too late, drink too much. It's why guitars weep gently, sand receives its share of cowgirls, why nonsensically buying a stairway to heaven, in the end, makes perfect, satisfying sense.

She was a gypsy girl...

2008-11-11T16:48:00.000-08:00

Oh GEEZ!

it has been a really long time before I've last posted. A few updates

I broke my collarbone (clean in two pieces) playing rugby on August 31st. It sucked (a lot) for about 8 weeks. now i'm back to working out and running and playing basketball, although no tackle sports or wrestling for another month or so. I still haven't decided whether or not I am going to go back to playing rugby.
I've gotten really involved in the AguaClara research (the research on water purification systems), although the professor sliced and diced my midterm paper so that sort of sucked. Also, since I'm working with really concentrated levels of chlorine indoors, I'm worried that I am going get poisoned some how. Chlorine has a skull and bones symbol on its wikipedia page.
I am leading my fantasy basketball league. 'Nuff said.
I've started writing again, although so far there hasn't been anything quality. Once I get something quality I'll put it up here.

-Vanish

THE LOST 28TH

2008-08-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

THE LOST 28TH
CHAPTER OF LEVITICUS
EXPLAINS THE RULES FOR
RIDING SHOTGUN.

BY STEVE ETHERIDGE

- - - -

1 And this is the law ye shall follow when traveling with brothers, whether by chariot, camel, donkey, cart pulled by slave, shoulders of slave, small boat, leviathan, silverback gorilla, or another personal conveyance. 2 The owner of the vehicle shall always be the pilot, unless leprosy hath taken his legs. The pilot must always wear a safety girdle. 3 He who wishes to have the second-best seat may only declare so after leaving the door of the temple, the tax collector's house, a den of iniquity, or any other place. He, too, shall wear a safety girdle. 4 If two men declare the seat at the same time and neither agrees to abide in the back, they shall each kill one bullock and offer its head at the altar. 5 He whose flames turn blue first shall hold the right to the seat. 6 If they turn blue at the same time, call on the elders of Israel to judgeth a rematch. 7 If thy bullock's eyeballs should burst at any time, thou art the winner. 8 If he who slew the bullock forgets to sprinkle blood before the altar, he not only forfeits the seat but dies. 9 If a man loses the contest yet refuses to relinquish his seat, he will surely suffer. 10 He who fails to follow the commands shall offer his youngest daughter as a slave and honey-gatherer to his companion, and if he hath no daughter, he then must scoopeth out his wife's womb with a melon baller and present it on a platter. 11 May it also be known that if it is a man's birthday, he holds the right to the seat. This is the law. 12 Neither women nor slaves may ever have the second-best seat. 13 Neither shall those with blemishes or those who have partaken in the following foods: any cloven-hoofed creatures, the weasel, the tortoise, the talking lizard, cobra jerky, imitation manna, cats born on odd days, and uncircumcised swallows. 14 Those sitting in the worst seats must not sing songs that annoyeth the pilot, nor shall they dangle false idols from the mirrors. 15 If three men are riding on a camel, they shall follow the same rules but shall take long, hard looks at themselves, because people will suspect they come from Sodom. 16 These are the commandments that have been passed on to the children of Israel, or to anyone else's kids, for that matter.

Harry Chapin, Some sort of update

2008-06-16T12:02:00.000-07:00

Okay guys, I'm going to be straight about this post from the start: the real reason that I am posting at this second is because I noticed a link to my blog on Tim's web-log (thanks Tim). I'm not sure if a link forms automatically once you comment and and include your URL, but regardless, I might as well repay the favor (is this some sort of blog etiquette?). Tim is going on a really cool adventure in Tuscany, Italia (I think) this summer before going to take classes in Roma, so if you're interested at all in what its like to completely immerse yourself in a different culture, adventures in Italy or just awesome pictures, check out his web-log at

Tims Blog. Its hosted by Cornell

If I can ever figure it out I'll put a little link on the side of this page. I have no idea how to make this work.

If you stumble upon this and don't know, I have been spending the summer in Ithaca. I am taking classes this summer so that I can take the spring semester off in order to do a coop working program (work full time for a semester) at an environmental engineering firm. Also, once classes are over, I plan on doing full time research for a group on campus called "Agua Clara," which is an engineering project that researches, plans, develops and ultimately builds water treatment plants in small villages in Honduras. The plants don't run on water and are generally easy to use. It is an awesome project and hopefully I can update more on my work.
The summer in Ithaca is pretty cool. Its really nice out most of the time (when its not super humid) and I'm starting to meet people here. We play a lot of sports and go swimming in the gorges, when I don't have a prelim the next day. I really need to get a digital camera so that I can update with pictures and show you guys.

Finally, to the namesake of this post: Harry Chapin. He went to Brooklyn Tech (one of my highschool alma mater's rivals) and spent a little time at Cornell. He was a talented musician and a worldwide player in the fight against hunger. Sadly, he died at the age of 38. Read more about Harry's life.

Here is one of my favorite songs by him:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l0fH0dRUow&feature=related

Just on my mind.

Until next time (soon)
-Vanish

Napkin Fiction

2008-05-14T11:24:00.000-07:00

Live Guilt Free in these United States -by Andrew Scott

Back when Richard was still skinny and mean, we fought at The Island. He broke a pool stick over my head. I bruised more than his ego. We fought over a woman, as always. We were best friends and that's what we did.

We met her at Monster Truck Madness. Richard swears he saw Mindy first, but he was crazy-drunk, worse than me, and he's plain wrong. I found her inside the well of a truck tire so large she could stretch her arms wide like Jesus without touching rubber.

The big names weren't there. No Bigfoot. No Grave Digger. So we ate corn dogs while El Diablo, a sweet red machine with painted horns, mashed up the competition. Then all three of us left for the bar.

We've all got our vices. Richard could never handle the gin. Tastes like pipe cleaner to me. I'm a whiskey man. My people hail from Tennessee.

While Mindy is off bumming a smoke from some chickenhead, Richard leans over to say he's taking her home. He's determined, with eyes like two pissholes in the snow.

Suppose I make a better offer?

You're welcome to try, he says. Just then Mindy returns with another drink for each of us, clearly a woman worth the fight.

Fast forward. Two in the morning. We're all of us on the road to nowhere good. Richard beats me in three straight games of 9-ball, then points to a table at the other end of the room where a woman bigger than me holds court. He says, How about her? You could take her home.

She's bigger than a state fair pumpkin.

First prize, he says. Blue ribbon all the way.

I like my chances here, I say.

He brings the cue down on my head, snapping the butt-end of 20-ounces of maple against my skull. I follow with a series of rapid blows, 1-2-3. Again like that, whap, 1-2-3. His face looks like a melon dropped at the grocery. He's knocked out cold and we all get tossed from The Island, but the bartender doesn't call the cops.

Mindy and I load Richard in the backseat of her hatchback and start for her place, leaving Richard's car in the lot. We prop him up on the couch while she and I get to business right there on the living-room floor. Mindy gets sore. You're taking too long, she says. Finish up. But I can't help it. After I've been drinking, it's like squeezing coins from a coconut. It's just not going to happen. I roll off and we pass out.

A few hours later, Richard wakes me, but I tell him to go back to sleep. Before morning, I wake and call a cab. Three days after that, he says that Mindy's the one. She made him breakfast and tended to his wounds. They talked, minus the booze. If you can tolerate someone during a hangover, perhaps it's meant to be.

He doesn't remember the fight. Doesn't remember me at Mindy's house—his house, now that they're married. But Mindy does. Last week I received a note, signed with her initial and a lipstick kiss, asking me to keep quiet.

You won the fight, she wrote. But you didn't win the girl.

57 varieties, 4 Chairs

2008-05-12T17:25:00.000-07:00

The light in the kitchen was dim. Dim enough for any of the four men to fall asleep if they were so inclined. The youngest one fidgeted, twirling the ketchup bottle, trying to memorize any and every fact on its red exterior. 57 varieties since 1869. There was utter silence, each one daring the others to speak first.

two thoughts in one post

2008-05-06T07:12:00.000-07:00

1. The human brain is accountable for up to 20% of energy consumption from metabolism. Thats crazy! Study more and you'll lose weight. But seriously, this is a sort of proof as to why socio-economic segregation and discrimination is more harmful than we think (aka if you have no money to eat, your whole body's metabolism slows, meaning less energy to the brain to expend yourself in an academic capacity).

2. I've discovered the winning formula for an instant hit rap song. Take a phrase, like "pop lock and drop it" and repeat it over and over again. Or if its a one word phrase, like "elevator," repeat it but some times abbreviate it. "on the ele-ele-elevator." Obviously, I rarely exert myself in an academic capacity.

cheers,
Vanish

A Deep Thought For All (2) of You

2008-05-05T12:15:00.000-07:00

You're not getting any younger. Get out there and take some risks.

Love,
Vanish

It was only fair

2008-04-22T17:26:00.000-07:00

I hate that damn rick roll video

Spring break (?)

2008-03-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

I went home on spring break. There is much too much to do and I am way too far behind on all of my classes for me to have gone anywhere on spring break. I don't have too much to share right now, because I'm surprisingly busy over spring break. I need a digital camera, and once I get one of those I'll start putting photos of stuff on this to make it more multimedia-interactive. I have to go get the oil changed in my car (which I could totally do myself), deposit the refund check of a bus ticket that I only used one way (but they refunded the cost of a full round trip which is awesome), start filling out end of year reports and award nominations for Delta Chi amongst other things. If I had a camera, I would have sent a picture of my to do list, which is awesome and will totally help me to stay on track. This will help me stay on track because it has fun things, like "go to gym" or "visit johnny and play video games." So I guess my tip of the post or the moral of the story or whatever is to fill your to do list with a few things that you want to do, so it feels good as you get through it and you want to keep crossing things off your list.

Until next time,
-Vanish

good one, xkcd

2008-02-20T16:52:00.001-08:00

http://xkcd.com/277/

I want so badly...

2008-02-12T21:34:00.000-08:00

to be defined by what I do. But I don't do anything, so what now?

I found this on my old blog, I'm not sure whether or not I wrote it

2008-01-10T08:03:00.001-08:00

A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

They remind me of moving prisons

2008-01-09T08:43:00.000-08:00

The question isn't, " who is sitting next to you," or "who just got up." The question is: over the years, what dirt and grime has built up on that scratched, stained porcelain? Does that man in the $3000 Armani suit know that the last woman who sat there had soiled herself? Or maybe that 4 year old, in the midst of asking his mother why the sky is blue, hasn't realized that an hour ago a homeless man made that seat his pillow and discharged about a gallon of saliva on it during REM sleep. Who would want to sit in a seat that some gang member marked? "J Rulz" and the rest of the "dntwn boiz" own this seat on account of the sharpie and scratch graffiti they have become so proficient at.

Maybe the question aren't any of those at all. Maybe the question is, what history has built up into this seat? How many people have fallen in love in this seat, due to the fact that the cute girl next to them had fallen asleep and was accidentally resting her head on their shoulder? Perhaps a dance troupe used this seat has a prop in their last routine, in hopes that an executive producer would notice their talent and ask them to start a reality show. What writers spent the last of their ink in this seat, trying to capture the hope, despair, love and all the other emotions that seethed through this city and had been captured in the priority seating section. It is a delicate balance of physical filth and the past, the thoughts of previous generations etched into this tacky orange bench.

Man, it is so hard to pick a seat on the train.

Have you ever tried world of warcraft?

2008-01-04T13:40:00.000-08:00

I was playing halo 3

I think that this is a pretty clever song/music video. Fairly amateur, but still funny.

I'm a genie in a bottle...

2008-01-02T11:21:00.000-08:00

creepiest e-bay auction.

Doubt its true but this guy is gonna make some monnnnnnnnay

Hats off to the New Year

2007-12-31T09:03:00.000-08:00

A lot of people say not to make new years resolutions because you'll just disappoint yourself and feel let down. I say, to hell with them. Making new years resolutions, at the very least, helps you point out your own flaws (Admitting that there is a problem is half the battle) and gives you something to look forward to in the new years. With out further ado, here are my (public) resolutions:

1. Drop 3 compliments/ do 3 nice things every day. I basically already do this, but I just need to start remembering them so that I can post about them on this so that all of you can go tell your girlfriends about what a nice guy I am and then I can start getting some lovin'.

2. Finish learning Hindi. I'm already on chapter 4 of my teach yourself Hindi book. I may or may not need to get a more advanced book afterwards.

3. Watch every academy award winning movie between now and 1980. This isn't so much a resolution as it is a personal goal and I've really been getting into old movies lately. I've probably seen a little under half of the films anyway, so this should be pretty easy.

4. Finish my screenplay. So that I can become famous and hook up with hollywood biddies. This one is a bit of a long shot in terms of resolutions.

5. Start getting to class on time. I guess this means getting up before class. Bummer.

6. Get my GPA up. Pretty self explanatory.

7. Start working out regularly at school. I work out regularly when I'm at home, but when I'm at school I lose all motivation to do anything. Have you guys had this problem? Idk what I'm going to do about it.

8. Finish this post

What am I doing with my life?

2007-12-30T12:01:00.000-08:00

Is the question you'll probably ask yourself after you read this article

Bhutto's Successor

"Benazir Bhutto's son has been anointed her successor, the slain former prime minister's Pakistan People's Party (PPP) confirmed today. A senior PPP official had told TIME late Saturday that Bhutto's 19-year-old son, Bilawal, would likely be named as her political heir and the new party leader on Sunday."

"The teenager will become the third leader of the 40-year-old center-left party, one of Pakistan's most powerful. Bilawal will follow his grandfather, Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, who founded the PPP in 1967, led Pakistan as Prime Minister for four years in the mid 1970s and was hanged in 1979 by a military government, and Benazir, who took over from her father and was killed in a shooting and suicide bomb attack two days ago."

Basically, he will be leading a political party in which the first and second leaders were both killed due to their position. And he's only 19. Actually, a month younger than me, because he was born in September 1988. Doesn't that make you think: As a 19 year old, what am I doing with my life? As people who can really make a difference in the world, why are we wasting our days aways?

Merry christmas

2007-12-25T14:55:00.000-08:00

From the year 2007.

fox news is just plain awful

2007-12-19T17:03:00.001-08:00

Just obscene.

chuck norris can divide by zero

2007-12-18T22:49:00.001-08:00

Does anybody else find it ridiculous that chuck norris is with mike huckabee on his campaign trail?

(Sorry thats the best picture I could find of the two in the same frame because I'm a bit lazy)

"When asked what he felt he added to the Huckabee campaign, Mr. Norris said simply, “Nothing,” before posing for a few more pictures and leaving."

Mike Huckabee on Norris: “[Norris] would be on Mount Rushmore except the granite wasn’t strong enough for his beard.”

Weird,
-Vanish

Theres nothing unamerican about steroids!

2007-12-17T08:27:00.000-08:00

So, in the midst of this steroids scandal, I ask you, do you think that steroids are unamerican? Do you think that injecting Human Growth Hormone to become physically superior is wrong? Captain America doesn't.

From Wikipedia: Steve Rogers, a tall but scrawny fine arts student, attempts to enlist, only to be rejected by his poor constitution. He then volunteers for a top-secret research project to create super soldiers. He is given injections and oral ingestions of this super-soldier serum. After it transforms his body and makes him stronger, faster, quicker and smarter, his body continues to produce this super-soldier serum.

Its obvious that this super-soldier serum contains massive amounts of HGH, Testosterone, and other substances illegal to be taken with out a prescription. I don't think Captain American, "Commie smasher," "Defender of Democracy," and "Fighter for the free world" had a prescription.

I will not stand for it if anyone accuses Captain America of wrong doings, and neither will most people. So whats wrong with steriods?

I have no idea what i'm talking about
-Vanish

Mustachio Bashio!

2007-12-16T21:37:00.001-08:00

So very absolutely first of all, I'd like to say hi to Katy . Heyyyy Katy.

I've decided to start updating slightly more often now that I told Shorts and Katy to start reading this (effectively doubling my readership). I was first going to write a post right after my final saying how I felt so alone, dejected, and like a failure after a test, and I was going to liken it to the feeling after sex, then I realized that I wouldn't do that because I feel awesome after sex. Actually, I feel awesome, always (well, as long as its not right after an excruciatingly hard final exam).

Anyway, I'm well on my way to learning hindi. Right now I'm on page 23 and I know how to say "this room is big. Are these big closets empty? Is your car Japanese? No, my car is Maruti." It doesn't even really make sense, but I'm not sure that it is supposed to.

Anyway, thats enough (for now). I don't want you guys getting too much information (because I have limited discussion points for this blog and winter vacation is long).

adios,
-Vanquish

wow this kid is big

2007-11-27T19:34:00.001-08:00

khornsby22 (10:30:30 PM): check this shit out (mainly #99 for yellow after the play) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmbXeY6VyOg&feature=related
vanish31 (10:31:13 PM): omygod
vanish31 (10:31:15 PM): that kid is huge
khornsby22 (10:31:32 PM): i know dude
khornsby22 (10:31:46 PM): did he eat another kid? is he in the wrong age group?
vanish31 (10:33:15 PM): LOL

It would be cool to be decalingual

2007-11-27T11:55:00.000-08:00

Originally I was joking when I made that post yesterday, but I thought about it a lot, and I decided that it would be really awesome to be decalingual and that I want to learn 10 languages. Here are the languages that I plan on learning

1. English (first language)
2. Hindi (So I can move to India and fight for the motherland, obviously)
3. Spanish (So I can move back to America after the war)
4. Italian
5. French (Why not just knock out all the main Romance languages at once?)
6. Chinese
7. Japanese
8. Sign Language (I'll be tired of talking all of the time)
9. Arabic (Might as well learn the major middle eastern language...)
10. Popular vote (All two of you that read this get to vote!)

I figure that if it takes approximately 1 year and a "teach yourself to speak ____" book for each language, I should be done in about 9-10 years This is really optimistic, but it gives me something to shoot for!

By the way, by saying I want to learn the language, that means I want to be able to write, read, and speak the language. Maybe this whole thing will take more than 10 years...

-Vanish

Whos the fuckin' man

2007-11-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

I am! I bought "teach yourself hindi" and I am learning to speak and read hindi. Soon I will be 2/10ths of the way to being decalingual.

So now that adrian reads this

2007-11-22T21:43:00.000-08:00

I'm going to start updating (tomorrow).

whats next, solar powered cars?

2007-10-21T09:22:00.001-07:00

This is really cool.

whats next, solar powered cars?

2007-10-21T09:22:00.000-07:00

This is really cool.

courtesy of busted tees

2007-10-20T11:46:00.001-07:00

http://www.bustedtees.com/shirt/fantasyfootball/male

awesome

green is whorish

2007-10-19T09:39:00.001-07:00

anyway, i'm cleaning my room, but expect a post tonight!!

This should tie you over until I'm bored enough to post...

2007-10-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

Manly Drinks

A list of Drinks Men should never order

I don't agree with all of these drinks, but its interesting.

-V

Nerd Auction

2007-09-26T19:28:00.000-07:00

Nerd Auctions

Kinda interesting. mostly lame

Also...

This many people are playing halo 3 right now.

I'll start updating more and more once I get some quality internet around here. Don't expect it for another couple of weeks. I'll never win blogger of the year award at this point.

6 years

2007-09-11T19:08:00.001-07:00

Never Forget.

My new desktop wallpaper

2007-09-09T09:01:00.001-07:00

Van Gogh- The Night Cafe
On the painting - "I have tried to express with red and green the terrible passions of human nature."

Last night, we had a discussion about physics, time, alternate dimensions, and types of civilizations. Oh, and we saw a herd of buffalo fight some lions.

Battle at Kruger

interesting, eh?

keep your coins...

2007-09-04T16:52:00.001-07:00

Keep your coins, I want change.

Incredible.

I haven't been around lately, so

2007-08-27T20:08:00.001-07:00

Heres a cute little link that should tide you over. I'm terribly sorry I haven't been around to update much, I've just been super busy with school. I promise an update soon (addressed to nobody, because thats how many people read this since I've completely stopped writing).

Orphaned hedgehogs adopt cleaning brush as their mother

how about some brown delicious to your face?

2007-08-13T16:01:00.000-07:00

That would be a line from Flight of the Conchords, on HBO. If you don't watch the show already, you probably should start. Because it is an excellent show about a new zealand folk music duo. A lot of their music is already on youtube.com so you should just search for them on that and you can decide whether or not you like it.

I haven't been updating much. Sorry. I will. Nobody reads this, I understand, but you will start reading this. Soon. I promise. You know.

Anyway, recently (not so recently) I saw "rescue dawn," which is about a guy getting taken hostage in Vietnam during the Vietnam war. It was a pretty powerful movie, and if you get a chance you should check it out. Christian Bale gives a pretty solid performance and Steven Zahn puts on a helluva show. I think that Christian Bale is one of the most underrated actors on the market. He is an incredible actor. I envy him because of his ability to speak in any accent he wants, and also his ability to put on and lose weight at will. In "Batman Begins," he is incredibly jacked. Not one year later (by filming) he manages to lose the muscle and all fat in order to film captive scenes in "Rescue Dawn." Then what does he do? Put that weight back on so he can film "The Dark Knight," another batman film which i'm sure he'll have to be jacked in. Awesome. I wish I could put on weight that easily.

Speaking of Christian Bale, I really want to see the movie "3:10 to Yuma." Even though I don't understand it much, it looks awesome.

So I'm going to save the other things I have to write about for other posts because I'm not a very interesting person, but whatever. You'll live.

I really like Incubus's song "Dig." Check it out Incubus

Stay happy,
-Vanish

Threes a crowd but this makes four,,,

2007-07-29T16:16:00.000-07:00

posts.
Four posts.
(so uh, i recounted and this actually makes only three. My bad).

To be completely honest, I thought I would be posting way more often than I do now. But unfortunately I've been too busy. still working the job I described in the last post, except things have started working! how awesome is that? Its really awesome, because in science, things don't work 3 out of the 4 times. Its not for the easily depressed. But I guess thats how most things work? Not everything is foolproof. Also I've been rereading all of the harry potter novels, which was awesome. I'm picking up on a lot of things that I've missed, because I have been reading it a lot more intensely for the seventh. By the way, the seventh book was really incredible. I'll review it at some other time, after I'm done re-reading it.

So a cliche that I've realized this weekend is that its much easier to connect to your mother than it is with your father. Maybe its much easier to talk to a mother because women are more patient or understanding. but with a dad its just a lot more "you're wrong" or "you're gay." Probably because (I know I'm making an incredible generalization) guys dream more and regret more. And in regretting more, Fathers are more likely to criticize you about what you're doing wrong, and less likely to accept what you want to do if its not what they want you to do. Thats how i rationalize my dad criticizing me all the time (and calling me gay).

Well anyways, I'm really looking forward to watching flight of the conchords soon. I think that show is awesome. Its really funny, and if you haven't watched it yet its on HBO at 10:30 on Sundays. I really hate how HBO shoves some of their new shows down your throat, like "John in Cincinatti" or whatever, and expects you to like them. This is not one of those shows though, I guarantee it. Its got flavor.

Some music you should listen to is One Republic. Their song "apologize" is awesome, and was featured on So You Think You Can Dance. Check it out.

Later,
-Vanish

Fuck i missed entourage sunday, but I ended up seeing it tuesday

2007-07-01T19:42:00.000-07:00

So my schedule for the last few days have been

Sometime between 9 and 10- Get into work. Check myself out in the bathroom.

Sometime between 10 and 11- Eat a peanut-butter jelly sandwhich.

Sometime between 11 and 12- Start some experiment that I don't understand but Donna explained to me.

Sometime between 12 and 1- Eat an incredibly large lunch that has all of my coworkers (4 women and 1 guy) and my boss, also a woman, watching in disbelief because I just had a sandwhich at 10. Usually inhale the meal in 15 minutes, so I spend the next 45 pretending I'm doing something important.

Sometime between 1 and 2- Set up another experiment that has an entirely too long incubation period, which means it has to sit for an hour or twelve. Because science is very slow.

Sometime between 2 and 4- Perform miscellaneous tasks that lend to my pretentious productivity. Bother Donna and Anna. Have deep philosophical discussion with Donna, Anna, and Andrea. Make up dances with James.

Between 4 and 5- Grow up these kidney cells. They need feeding and splitting, because they grow too fucking fast.

5:30- Realize that the experiment I did went terribly wrong because I added something incorrectly. Cry.

6:00 - Get reassurance from Donna that "it happens to everybody." Anna says "we've all had those days." Cry more.

Yup, thats pretty much my day, every day. Science is a fickle lover. I didn't include the massive amounts of eating that goes on. Because i've discovered that I eat an inordinate amount of food, particularly during the work day. Its great.

I'm tired. I've been writing, and I want to post some fiction on this. I will. Adios

(Band you should check out this week: Envy on the Coast)

Allow me to reintroduce myself...

2007-06-29T20:11:00.000-07:00

Hey.
Here I am, on a Friday night, rocking out to a song "joyride" by victrola for sale. This is sad for two reasons. 1) Its a friday night. I should be out, living life and pouncing on females, as any strapping young male would do, and 2) because its probably the second most awful song I've ever heard.

So this is my blog. I used to have a lot of other posts on this that I put up in high school, but I deleted them all because I was a little emotional child with issues, and the posts reflected that, and I didn't want you folks having to put up with it.

This blog is an attempt to regain my lost writing abilities. As a Cornell Undergrad, all will and passion to write about anything was violently ripped from my soul and replaced with physics equations, mathematical quandries and the hope that I will someday be able to do a handstand. Now I vow to, atleast during the summer, let my writing flourish a little more than it was able to at Cornell. Blogging allows for... more freedom and versatility. I guess I don't really expect anybody to read this, because it won't be a really revolutionary blog, like Post Secret or a really incredible idea like Digg or even something funny like Overheard. Though this will serve as a portal for me to share my thoughts, ideas, news, and sites like those.

But will anybody read? If this metaphorical tree falls in the internet, will it make a sound?

So, as the answer with most of life's questions, we'll see.

-Vanish

Bottom Locker Blag!

Yeah. I moved

Winery trip

My trip in California

Screw BU, Kentucky Too!

Best New York Song?

Only requirement: Bring Pizza...

The easiest 10 bucks you'll ever make

100th post

Breaking the Seal

Dude, its 2010

... And We're Back

Things I am anticipating

Happy New Years!

Change the way you read online

What I've Learned: 2009

Happy Holidays!

The Situation

Catchy Albums of the Year

Traditions

Top Clips: SNL

Thoughts on Discipline and a 15 Minute Sleep Schedule

Whats the funniest state in the United States?

I went to the Brand New concert tonight

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallatica

Things I think about

I have now decided that I am a Clippers fan.

I wrote this poem for my creative writing class

List Serve? Whats a list serve?

Wanted: Movie Friend

And thats how you let the beat build

Things I've learned: Slope day edition

A little pea in a huge pod

You shall not pass

The Endorsement: Issue 1

Two Sunday Thoughts

A picture is worth one post

How not to be an intern

This is where the mirror breaks

I'm glad I'm not catholic

Eat your shorts

Much Freddy Adu about nothing

And this is how I know I'm alive

Every dog has his day

A series of questions that I would ask anybody that I thought I might be in love with

Citigroup was rooting for the Jets this weekend

Taking stock of my life

Gym Notes

Finally a Weekend Trip

I just bought a book by Chuck Klosterman

is this how you pounce on life?

I start working tomorrow

Bottom Locker goes green

Bridgestone: The Official Tire of the NFL

Lets talk about resolutions

Happy New Years kiddos

an awesome excerpt from Kingsley Amis's "Lucky Jim"

I did not write this

She was a gypsy girl...

THE LOST 28TH

THE LOST 28THCHAPTER OF LEVITICUSEXPLAINS THE RULES FORRIDING SHOTGUN.

BY STEVE ETHERIDGE

Harry Chapin, Some sort of update

Napkin Fiction

57 varieties, 4 Chairs

two thoughts in one post

A Deep Thought For All (2) of You

It was only fair

Spring break (?)

good one, xkcd

I want so badly...

I found this on my old blog, I'm not sure whether or not I wrote it

They remind me of moving prisons

Have you ever tried world of warcraft?

I'm a genie in a bottle...

Hats off to the New Year

What am I doing with my life?

Merry christmas

fox news is just plain awful

chuck norris can divide by zero

THE LOST 28TH
CHAPTER OF LEVITICUS
EXPLAINS THE RULES FOR
RIDING SHOTGUN.